TSOF Reader Emails: Saved by the Bell, Urkel, and the NBA Draft

As an initial note, I observe that a great number of minor fictional characters from long cancelled television programs decided to drop the Son of Feeney a line.  I guess that is only fair considering that this reviewer uses a nom de plume from a long cancelled television series.  That foolishness aside, it is with great pleasure I present to you the first TSOF Reader Email Post.  Behold!

From Buddy Lembeck:

Dear Sir:

I enjoy your analysis of these oft-loathed cultural icons. Few see the deeper meanings--nay, the life lessons--contained in the work of such visionaries as Jeff Franklin, San Bobrick, and Patrick Duffy.  You do. Would that we all might see this genius disguised as buffoonery. The world would be better for it.  

I climb the mountaintop seeking your insight. One aspect of the subject shows that has long bothered me is the choice of locale. Specifically, a show creator's selection of an existant city vs. a fictional place.  Some shows choose major cities, where the city itself becomes a character, as much a part of the opening credits as the actors themselves (Full House:San Francisco; Family Matters & Perfect Strangers:Chicago; Boy Meets World:Philadephia, and the like).  Other shows select a made-up place, often an amalgamation of middle America, where the city is only peripheral to the characters' (mis)adventures (Saved by the Bell:Palisades, CA; Charles in Charge:Pembroke College, NJ; Gimme a Break:Glenlawn, CA; Designing Women: Atlanta). 

In your esteemed opinion, why do show creators choose fictional locales? Is this because the fictional locale takes a backseat to the story, permitting more character development? Does it permit a certain creative license where the show is not bound by known geographic constraints? Or does it reflect the sinister megalomania of the shows' creators, their independence from the superego, where they feel qualified to play God not only with the characters but also their entire environment?

Your insight is much appreciated. 

TSOF:

Buddy,

First, I enjoyed that you mentioned Designing Women.  I further enjoyed that Atlanta was listed as pure invention.  A confederate Narnia if you will.  Your mention of Designing Women also led me to think of the character Anthony Bouvier, played by Meshach Taylor.  In the context of the show, it is clear that the writers originally intended Anthony to be homosexual.  Due to the prevailing television morays of the time, Anthony's character suddenly became straight even though he hung around all day with four women in a design studio.  Anthony became the most inexplicably heterosexual character on television.  This title was later held by Bronson Pinchot's French hairstylist Jean-Luc Rieupeyroux on Step by Step.  Oddly, ten years later nearly every show on television featured homosexual characters almost exclusively. 

To answer your question, however, I find the creation of a fictional setting far less megalomaniacal than twisting an existing city into the bizarre fiction seen in many of the programs you mention.  Full House is the perfect example.  According to Full House's writers, it is perfectly reasonable to believe that a local sports anchor (Danny's job at the inception of the show) can own a four story row house with four bedrooms, a converted garage, and full attic apartment.  San Francisco is one of the most expensive real estate markets in the United States!  Furthermore, despite being a massive media market, the audience is to accept that a radio station gave Jesse, a high school drop out and former exterminator with absolutely no experience, their rush hour program.  Finally, despite the fact that Danny, Jesse, and Joey live together in a house with (initially) no women, no one in San Francisco ever questions their sexuality.  That is more inexplicable than Jean-Luc and Anthony Bouvier being straight.

Short answer - it is the shows set in major cities that test the boundaries of the creator's ego.

From ???:

Dear Son of Feeney,

Whatever happened to Screech's robot?

TSOF:

It's a good question, but undoubtedly one that highlights Screech's gradual descent into madness.  At age thirteen or fourteen, Screech invents a sentient robot but by age 25 he is working as an assistant principal and ruining several of his business ventures with Mr. Belding.  I firmly believe that if we knew the whereabouts of Kevin the Robot, it may provide some important insight into Screech's various afflictions.  My theory is that Zack sold Kevin at some point, more likely than not to Maxwell Nerdstrom, in order to fund an otherwise doomed scheme.  

From Kristy in Phoenix:

While I enjoyed the column "Is Zack Morris a Serial Killer," I felt it missed an obvious victim.  In the episode "From Nurse to Worse," Zack falls for the school nurse and even dumps his beloved Kelly to be with her.  We never hear from her again.

TSOF:

Kristy,

The nurse's fate is an interesting subject.  On the one hand she toyed with Zack's emotions and sexual desires.  Clearly this is a dangerous proposition and it would not be surprising if it cost her her life.  On the other hand, in order to help Kelly get back at Zack, the nurse flirted with a student and made sexual advances on him.  It is just as likely she was fired, hence I did not include her on the list of Zack's victims.  

Perhaps the rumored Saved by the Bell Reunion will involve exhuming Zack's crawl space and we will have our answer.  We can only hope.

From Warren Weber:

Son of Feeney:

What are your thoughts on the NBA Draft?

TSOF:

My thoughts are many, Potsie.  Here is how I see the top five picks in the draft proceeding:

1. Clippers - Blake Griffin

Griffin is the A.C. Slater of this draft.  He simply has superior skill and athleticism when compared to his competitors.  Appropriately, this analogy makes Tyler Hansborough Marvin Nedick, the doughy wrestler from Valley who Slater thoroughly and repeatedly dominates.

2. Memphis - Hasheem Thabeet

The Urkel of the draft - though awkward and somewhat one-dimensional, he is somehow oddly effective.  Like Urkel he will have a surprisingly long career in the primetime spotlight.

3. Oklahoma City - Ricky Rubio

Rubio is Zack Morris.  He is young, cool, and charming.  Furthermore, like Zack, his athleticism is underrated.  Many forget that in the episode Running Zack, all of Bayside had to hope that Zack could recover from his grief over Chief Henry's death so he could run the mile against Valley.  Unfortunately for Zack, his accomplishments athletically were overshadowed by Slater's superior feats and brawn.  Rubio has the same relation to Griffin.

4. Sacramento - Stephen Curry

Curry is Shawn Hunter.  Shawn has a reputation as a bad boy.  Curry is a reputed lights out baller.  The problem is that this reviewer has a hard time taking these reputations at face value because each appears to be twelve years old.

5. Minnesota - James Harden

Harden is Cory Matthews.  He floats under the radar.  No one is wowed by his game but he gets the job done and even has flashes of brilliance.  Similarly, Cory is not the most engaging lead character but somehow maintained titular billing on a show that aired for seven seasons.  Cory also married Topanga. 

Significantly, there is no Jesse Catsopolis in this draft.  That is because no potential draftee was tutored by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and can only make shots from one "sweet spot" on the floor.

From Bruce Leeroy:

Dearest Son of Feeney,

I am convinced that Peter Engel is the most brilliant mind to grace the television landscape.  I am guessing that you agree with me.

TSOF:

Dearest Bruce Leeroy,

I do not.  It did not take a genius to create a sitcom about a group of middle school kids in Indiana and their teacher.  It did take a genius to recast the show, move it to California, and put it on Saturday morning.  That genius was Brandon Tartikoff.  For his troubles, he earned a role as himself in "No Hope With Dope," a truly inspired episode.

Peter Engel is more of an idiot savant.  Engel produces insightful, brilliant, and amusing programs, but they are not insightful, brilliant, or amusing for the reasons that Peter Engel intended.  Listen to the commentary on the SBTB DVD anthology.  Peter Engel's idea of comedy is having Screech wear a "loud" shirt.  If you need more proof, watch his next endeavor - City Guys.

From Brian in Tallahassee, Fla:

Dear Son of Feeney,

Do you see any parallels between the episode of Saved by the Bell where Jessie gets hooked on speed and the Family Ties where Alex P.Keaton does the same thing?  I mean didn't Saved by the Bell just rip off Family Ties?

TSOF:

Its an interesting theory, Brian, but I see these episodes as very different.  As an initial note, and I do not mean to split hairs, but in the episode Jessie's Song, Jessie is addicted to caffeine pills, not speed.  In addition, I am not sure if sitcoms can truly "rip each other off."  Clearly there are storylines that nearly every program explores.  Drug use is one of them.  

More importantly, however, these episodes have very different messages.  The Family Ties episode "Speed Trap" is an episode about the dangers of drugs and follows the classical "learning theory" model.  Alex takes speed, enjoys the effect, and spirals out of control.  "Jessie's Song" on the other hand is quite clearly about the exploitation of women.  While Jessie certainly takes caffeine pills and spirals out of control, her motivation is different.  Whereas Alex took speed in order to get through a hectic school week while still meeting his own high expectations, Jessie is overwhelmed because she is trying to meet the expectations of others, most notably Zack. In the episode, Zack believes he can use the girls' singing to propel himself to fame and fortune.  He even has Screech dress as a woman so they can covertly record the girls singing together in the locker room.  Even though Jessie is already overwhelmed with her schoolwork, Jessie begins using drugs so she has enough energy to serve Zack as well.  Significantly, Zack is only using Jessie for his own financial gains.  Soon Jessie can only function while she is under the influence of drugs.  Instead of presenting a social learning message, the episode makes the broader point about how a male dominated society and its exploitation of women debases those women and leads them down a dangerous path.

A final note on the Family Ties episode: One of the more interesting aspects of "Speed Trap" is the fact that Family Ties used not one, not two, but three clips from the episode in the opening credits.  Each features Alex P. Keaton in a manic state.  The subversive message is that speed brought out the true essence of Alex and represents him in his most actualized state.  The logical progression is that each of us would exist in our most heightened form under the influence of the same drug.  Sha-na-na-na, indeed.

From J. Walter Weatherman:

Is this for real? 

TSOF:

What a brilliantly existential question. 

Comments

[Staci Carosi]

Sir: If Ricky Rubio is Zack Morris, and Zack Morris is a serial killer, how many nameless, faceless Bayside coeds will Ricky Rubio murder to ease the pain of both dropping to fifth and playing for the T-Wolves?

[The Son of Feeney]

I think you have hit on the most under-reported story from the draft. This is not an exact science but I would say eight nameless, faceless Bayside co-eds will perish in the aftermath.