As an initial note, I observe that a great number of minor fictional characters from long cancelled television programs decided to drop the Son of Feeney a line. I guess that is only fair considering that this reviewer uses a nom de plume from a long cancelled television series. That foolishness aside, it is with great pleasure I present to you the first TSOF Reader Email Post. Behold!
1. Clippers - Blake Griffin
Griffin is the A.C. Slater of this draft. He simply has superior skill and athleticism when compared to his competitors. Appropriately, this analogy makes Tyler Hansborough Marvin Nedick, the doughy wrestler from Valley who Slater thoroughly and repeatedly dominates.
2. Memphis - Hasheem Thabeet
The Urkel of the draft - though awkward and somewhat one-dimensional, he is somehow oddly effective. Like Urkel he will have a surprisingly long career in the primetime spotlight.
3. Oklahoma City - Ricky Rubio
Rubio is Zack Morris. He is young, cool, and charming. Furthermore, like Zack, his athleticism is underrated. Many forget that in the episode Running Zack, all of Bayside had to hope that Zack could recover from his grief over Chief Henry's death so he could run the mile against Valley. Unfortunately for Zack, his accomplishments athletically were overshadowed by Slater's superior feats and brawn. Rubio has the same relation to Griffin.
4. Sacramento - Stephen Curry
Curry is Shawn Hunter. Shawn has a reputation as a bad boy. Curry is a reputed lights out baller. The problem is that this reviewer has a hard time taking these reputations at face value because each appears to be twelve years old.
5. Minnesota - James Harden
Harden is Cory Matthews. He floats under the radar. No one is wowed by his game but he gets the job done and even has flashes of brilliance. Similarly, Cory is not the most engaging lead character but somehow maintained titular billing on a show that aired for seven seasons. Cory also married Topanga.
Significantly, there is no Jesse Catsopolis in this draft. That is because no potential draftee was tutored by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and can only make shots from one "sweet spot" on the floor.