The Son of Feeney

On the Implausibility of "Doing the Urkel"

There is a fine line that exists between an audience’s willing suspension of disbelief and insulting the audience’s intelligence. No show has ever challenged that line more often or more brazenly than Family Matters. On occasion, Family Matters even traverses so far over the line and into the realm of the absurd that the line becomes a distant horizon behind it. The episode “Life of the Party,” originally airing on February 8, 1991, is such an episode. In “Life of the Party,” the writers flout the show’s limited credibility to such gratuitous ends that it is a wonder the audience did not revolt. Worse yet, ABC’s TGIF line up extended this farce just seven months later in the Step by Step episode, “The Dance.”

This reviewer is, of course, referring to the song “Do the Urkel.” The song first appears in “Life of the Party” when Urkel decides to liven up a friend's gathering by performing a dance that he has concocted. At the party, Urkel provides a signal to his four-toothed friend Harvey Garvey who begins playing a tape. As the song begins, Urkel performs his dance “the Urkel” and supplies the lead vocals to the song. The lyrics consist primarily of a set of instructions on how to Do the Urkel. Though hardly worth repeating, the instructions include ludicrous commands such as “Now point your fingers up to the sky; and talk through your nose way up high” and “Spin and dip and jump and cavort; and finish it off with a laugh and snort.” Shamefully, most of the party is soon performing the dance perfectly in unison with Urkel, a feat this reviewer finds truly dubious. Even more stupefying, the track contains backing vocals imploring the revelers to “Do it, do it, do the Urkel . . . .”

Notably, the remainder of the episode provides no balance to this rather fanciful spectacle. Instead, Willie, jealous of the attention Urkel receives upon Doing the Urkel, decides to spike Urkel’s punch. An extremely inebriated Urkel then falls off the roof, only to somehow control his booze-addled mind long enough to grasp a ledge before plummeting to his death. Rachel then tightropes across a clothesline to save him. It is preposterous beyond description.

More to the point, however, the scene in which the party-goers “Do the Urkel” requires the audience to accept a number of far-fetched assumptions. First, we must accept that Urkel has created and choreographed a dance based on his own wacky persona. Second, he apparently recorded an instrumental track, complete with backing vocals, that allows him to provide the lead vocals during live performances of his dance. Third, the audience must accept that Harvey Garvey had the tape handy in case Urkel decided to perform his dance. Finally, we must consent to the idea that either everyone at the party knew how to Do the Urkel and had practiced the routine or that the party was able to spontaneously anticipate Urkel’s instructions.

Despite stretching the bounds of reason, it is theoretically possible that Urkel had the song recorded, Harvey Garvey brought the tape with him and played it at the party, and his schoolmates had learned and practiced Doing the Urkel on previous occasions. The events of Step by Step’s “The Dance,” however, are beyond the pail. In “The Dance,” Urkel crash lands his jet pack (a ridiculous premise in its own right) into the Lambert’s backyard while visiting his science fair partner, Mark. While in Port Washington, he ends up attending a school dance with Al. At the dance, Urkel decides to inject some energy into the affair. He, therefore, turns to the DJ and tells him to “play a fast one.” The DJ responds by playing the “Do the Urkel” song while Urkel provides the instructional lead vocals. Soon, all in attendance are “Doing the Urkel.” Realizing that this description may seem exaggerated, this reviewer includes the following exhibit as proof:

Insultingly, in addition to the assumptions required in “Life of the Party,” the audience must accept that a DJ in Port Washington, Wisconsin – a city over 100 miles from Urkel’s native Chicago – owns a recording of “Do the Urkel” and played the song simply upon a request for a “fast one.” The DJ does not seem to recognize Urkel, so it seems we are to accept this stroke of luck as a mere coincidence.  Furthermore, the DJ apparently owns the copy of “Do the Urkel” that lacks the lead vocals just in case Steve Urkel shows up in Port Washington and wants to provide the lead vocals himself. Finally, the audience must allow that the entire crowd at a Port Washington middle school dance is familiar enough with “the Urkel” to perform a well choreographed rendition. Shockingly, even Frank and Carol Lambert, who are chaperoning the dance, are seemingly nonplussed by the miraculous incident they witness.

The only way to reconcile “The Dance” is if the audience accepts the postmodern metafictional premise that in this fictionalized version of youth culture, Urkel has gained notoriety that extends beyond what is depicted in Family Matters. If the audience accepts this hypothesis, Jaleel White/Steve Urkel’s appearance on the American Comedy Awards in 1991, where he Does the Urkel with the late, great Bea Arthur (shown in grainy footage below), could perhaps be seen as an event that the fictionalized Port Washington may have witnessed and emulated.

This series of assumptions, however, is simply a bridge too far. This reviewer simply will not accept that “Doing the Urkel,” as portrayed in these episodes, is conceivable.

"Stefan Returns:" A Bioethical Exploration of Greek Mythology

As previously addressed by this reviewer, Family Matters is one of the few sitcoms to daringly explore the topic of bioethics. In the episode “Dr. Urkel and Mr. Cool,” Steve Urkel used gene therapy to transform himself into the cooler and more sophisticated Stefan Urquelle. By the end of the episode, however, Laura had learned a valuable lesson about how Urkel’s flaws made him who he was and contributed to his positive attributes. Though the gene therapy made Urkel cooler, it also had the negative consequence of making him conceited. One of the great dilemmas in bioethics, however, is that even flawed science can theoretically be fixed through more research. In the 24th episode of the fifth season of Family Matters, “Stefan Returns,” the series addressed this vicious cycle through a deeper more nuanced study of bioethics.

Notably, “Stefan Returns” explores these bioethical issues through the use of the Greek myths of Prometheus and Pandora. Though the myth of Pandora’s box is perhaps a clichéd metaphor, in “Stefan Returns” writers Fred Fox Jr. and Jim Geoghan use it as a perfect literary device to examine the myriad of bioethical issues present in gene therapy. Extending this device backwards through the series, in the episode “Dr. Urkel and Mr. Cool,” Urkel can be seen as a modern Prometheus.

Through the process of mapping his genetic material and inventing a “cool juice,” Urkel dared tread in the realm of the gods. Instead of returning with fire like Prometheus, Urkel transformed himself into the much cooler Stefan Urquelle. At the end of “Dr. Urkel and Mr. Cool,” however, Urkel did not suffer any punishment for his foray into the gods’ territory. Instead, he and Laura learned a lesson and life went on as usual. Almost certainly, this simple conclusion did not sit well with the writers, necessitating a deeper study.

Contrary to “Dr. Urkel and Mr. Cool,” in mythology, Zeus creates Pandora as punishment of mankind for Prometheus' theft of the secret of fire. According to the myth, Pandora opened a box, hence releasing all the evils of mankind. What makes the myth particularly relevant to the bioethical context is that, in addition to the ills it contained, the box contained Hope. Like Urkel, scientists in the field of genetics, conduct their research with the hope of bettering themselves and humankind. It is only the possible unintended consequences and the continued intrusion into god’s dominion that cause bioethical concerns. With Urkel cast as Prometheus and Laura as Pandora, Messrs. Fox and Geoghan devle into this dynamic between hope and its potential hazards.

"Dr. Urkel and Mr. Cool:" The Disturbing Case of Stefan Urquelle

Almost every sitcom adds characters to the cast at some point in its run. New characters facilitate new storylines, keep the show fresh, and often boost flagging ratings. Indeed, like a pacemaker or transplant, new characters allow a sitcom to live beyond what may have been possible in its original configuration. Sitcoms often add characters in the guise of a new baby, a boyfriend, or an adoptive child. Even Family Matters added the popular Steve Urkel just seven episodes into its run. Later in its run, Family Matters made bolder strokes in the addition of characters. Though often underestimated, Family Matters is the only show, to this reviewer’s knowledge, that added a character through bioengineering.

The brilliance of this development is that it allowed Family Matters to become one of the few shows able to delve into the rich and controversial topic of bioethics.  The eighth episode of the fifth season, “Dr. Urkel and Mr. Cool,” originally airing on ABC on November 12, 1993, provides a stunning example of this boldness.  The action begins with Laura and some of her friends out for a milkshake at the Mighty Weenie where Eddie and Urkel work. Laura asks her friends if they think her skirt is too short because, apparently, the meddlesome Urkel was concerned. Mid-debate, a patron enters the Mighty Weenie, sees Laura’s skirt, and begins to flirt with her. Laura is flattered. Urkel, laden with a tray full of milkshakes, tells the patron “Keep flirtin’ and you’ll be hurtin’.”  The patron promptly pulls down Urkel’s pants, causing him to trip and spill the tray of milkshakes all over Laura. She is covered in milkshake.

Urkel follows Laura home, apologizing profusely. Ignoring Urkel’s apologies, Laura tells him that his “clumsiness is only part of the problem” explaining that he is also “annoying and socially inept.” Marvelously scripted by Jim Geoghan, in the episode’s most telling moment, Laura asks Urkel “Why are you the way you are?” With that, Laura asks one of the great existential questions. Urkel, a devotee of science, responds with a lecture about DNA and genes. Laura then asks, “What happened to yours?” The question remains, however, beyond the purely physical explanation, what makes us who we are? And can improving the physical components of our make up improve the overall essence of our being? When Laura asks Urkel if there is anything he can do to change himself, Mr. Geoghan wisely leaves open the manner of this transformation.